Sunday, June 24, 2007

punch with 2 sides of bjork




i think i need a bell dress and a dancing boyfriend cat.
but then, who doesn't?



Friday, June 22, 2007

the man with the beautiful eyes


Wednesday, June 20, 2007


What's this? A Survey? Again?


1. What the heck is your name?
what the heck? it’s karen.

2. Do you bite your nails?
not really.

3. Are you a jealous person?
i suppose i can be.

4. What are you allergic to?
stupid people

5. What books, if any, have made you cry?
i can’t recall any right now.

6. Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
sure. i wonder why they say it when they could just say that they’ll see me around or something else non-committal.

7. What is your favorite simple ice cream flavor?
chocolate chip cookie dough

8. Whose car were you in last?
mine

9. What would you rather be doing right now?
roadtripping, on a real beach, exploring, singing

10. What song lyrics, if any, are stuck in your head at the moment?
my iTunes is playing, "Sade, es-tu diabolique ou divin? Sade, are you diabolical or divine?"

12. What did you dress up as for Halloween? What did you do?
i had two costumes. one was an unimaginitive zombie can-can dancer and the other was a crazy cat lady in a bathrobe with many cats attached. i was in chicago and participated in a costume contest at the gallery cabaret with scotto roboto. i did not win. luckily we were in a bar so i could drown my sorrow.

13. What are your favorite TV shows?
i don’t watch tv anymore.

14. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
same

15. Can others make you cry easily?
oh it depends on the subject. there’s certain subjects that almost always make me cry to talk about.

16. Who was the last person to piss you off?
a boyfriend.

17 Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
yes but i certainly am not a stickler about the grammar obviously.

18. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
do they list those on the back? huh.

19. If you could be any type of fruit, what would you be?
i’d prefer to not be fruit. thanks.

23. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
7-8.

25. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
does the ground count? camping a week ago or so. the actual floor, i don’t know.

26. Have you ever been attracted to someone, but not physically?
yes indeedy.

27. What are some things that are needed in a relationship?
trust, compassion, physical/mental attraction,

28. Do you like traveling via airplane?
not really. but it gets you there faster.

29. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
if they were a good person and all that. and hopefully the tatts are not really stupid like 1200 tasmanian devils or tweety birds or something like that. i couldn’t make out with that.

30. Do you believe the guy or girl should pay on the first date?
whomever asks should pay. but i’ll always assume dutch.

32. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
a little.

33. Which do you make: dreams or plans?
both...though you make plans and have dreams, right?

34. Can you speak any languages other than English?
i barely speak english.

35. What is your favorite salad dressing?
caesar

36. What movies do you know every line to?
labyrinth and some others

37. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
no but some of my exes are my best friends now

38. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
yes

39. Have you told someone else that secret?
no

40. Would you rather take the picture or be in it?
i usually take the picture but i like being in them more.

41. Do you wear flip-flops?
nope

42. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
i have no idea.

43. How many siblings do you have?
1

44. What's the sweetest thing someone has done for you?
don’t know.


45. When was your last road trip?
i don’t recall. does iowa city to chicago count? for some reason it doesn’t feel like it.

46. Name 3 countries you've been to:
italy, south korea, japan

47. Name 6 bands that you like:
pixies, the cure, cut copy, talking heads, camera obscura, ween

48. What are 2 names that you go by?
karen, karen

49. Who is in the house with you?
no one.

50. What are you thinking about right now?
going outside and enjoying the day rather than doing this survey

51. What's most unappealing thing about the opposite sex?
that some of them do all things through christ who strengthens them. replace “christ” with “their penis.” replace “who strengthens them” with nothing.

52. What are you doing right now?
typing. duh.

53. Last text message saved in your inbox?
something from luke

54. Why?
why not?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Monday, June 18, 2007


sex. sex is a strange thing. a great thing, mind you, and i’m glad to have experienced it in my older years but still it is a strange thing...it is especially strange to attempt to discuss such things with people who have not deprived themselves of it for a seemingly infinite amount of years and it feels as if i am speaking to a foreigner. it’s okay though. it’s best just to attempt to get them to think back to a time when they lived in a sexless world though it appears that those times are so long gone that any attempts to go there are torturous at best. sigh. in many ways i feel inadequate and strange by the fact that i am still so new to the experience but then i also feel that it’s more than the experience that i crave and thusly it makes deliberate sense. i want more than the act and sometimes i do just want the act but i want it to be with someone i care about immensely so that even then it means something even to a small degree. maybe i put the whole thing on a pedestal that it need not be on. in fact i assume i do and for this i don’t feel bad. i just wish it were easier for the guys that i do care about to understand. in this recent relationship, i said that it was difficult for me to open up (emotionally and physically. yar.) and he said that he understood this and said that he cared enough to wait. well, apparently the wait was too long and now he’s annoyed and frustrated which makes me infininitely annoyed and frustrated. who do you think you are? i can definitely understand feeling these things but to go from one to the other so quickly is cruel though most likely the way in which emotions come and go. i do not blame him for feeling the way he feels but i must question the fluctuation. in a few short days one way changes to another. this behavior is infinitely frightening and does not aid in my ability to trust. and i so want to trust. i know that i am an extremely difficult person to know and yet i also know that once you are able to even peer over the wall that it is quite easy to find me. i am there. i may front but ultimately i am so immensely wanting to know you inside and out and have you know me. it may not seem like it, i realize, but i am just afraid of hurting you and being hurt. this is a common fear and yet something that i now realize is such an amazingly beautiful thing. yes, we can be hurt...i can be hurt and yet, i want to take that chance....with you. to make such a choice with open arms is so painfully wonderful that it hurts even to talk about. with all the hurt in the world those that you know for yourself and that you’ve heard about and those that you’ve dreamed up in your head, even with all that pain and heartache, you decide to say yes to the possibility of undeniable sadness and hurt, that is so fantastic that i can’t even describe how achingly real and optimistic it makes me. on the same note though, being open to such pain is also being open to incredible happiness so maybe it’s just the hope that keeps us afloat. though i’ve found that hope isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. ultimately, i’ve discovered in the last few days that i want to be open to life and all that comes with it, to not just know of relationships but to be an active participant in living and caring for other human beings and to not feel badly or strangely about it. each day, each moment is another opportunity. i do not want to waste it on hesitation.

Friday, May 04, 2007

i feel really great right now....better than i have in months. i can only assume it has to do with the physical activity. i know i've written about my not-so-secret love affair with my bike so i won't go into that but i've been running again and doing some swimming. i guess i've been gearing up for my own personal triathlon.

work is okay. i'm just burning out on it and the people i work with. i'll have a new job soon enough so that i just make this job my second job...job, job, job. that's a weird word.

anyway, unfortunately it will be a rain-filled week...but saturday which was supposed to be rain-filled as well, seems to be a decent day and my previous plans to go to the sutliff bridge that day (something i've talked about for quite some time) are still in effect. hooray. the person i'm going with is from cedar rapids as well and hadn't even heard of it either so i think it was just a popular thing in certain circles. well, if it doesn't rain we'll see what that's about...maybe i'll take a few pictures too.

also, this saturday is the grand re-opening of white rabbit, a D.I.Y. art and apparel store/boutique/gallery. it moved to a larger space above the yacht club and there will be food by redhead and bands playing...and it's free. wheeee! i'm still working on my stuff that i plan on eventually selling so it'll be good to see what other people are doing and seeing what they're charging since i have no clue how much to charge. i don't want to ask too much but i don't want to not make a little money for my hard work. well, i'll figure it out.

hmmmm...that's all to report for now. something fantastic will be happening within the week. i feel it...because i'll make it so.

Monday, April 30, 2007

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.


- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land, 1922.



ah, april was the cruellest month.

but, today is the last day and tomorrow is a beginning of something new, says i.

i have the bike i have craved. this is momentous! and better yet, some know of the call i received from the bike shop some weeks ago which had me in a semi-tizzy because i feared the reason behind it. but, when i stopped in later to put some more money down on my lay-lay-lay-away bicycle, no one mentioned any badness to me so i assumed that they had figured it all out and i had no need to worry.

alas! i paid off the bike today and they informed me that they had actually already sold the gray bike that i put money down for. i was startled for a minute but then they said that they were just going to give me the brand spankin' new 2007 model of the same bike which means it would come in a different (not boring gray) color. woo hoo! so this is my new bike:


and i like it much better. well, i'm off...i have a bike riding date so off i go...zooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!

i have decided...
tomorrow (today, actually)
is
BIKE DAY!

i'm buying my bicyclette!
i will whoosh
and swoosh!

then, i will feel better.
i know it!

i'll rap about it later...

Friday, April 27, 2007

how did i celebrate my half-birthday revelation, you ask? oh, by getting into a car accident on my day off a few hours after that post. it's been a lovely week...


i knew there was a reason why i've putting up photos of cakes lately (or at least thinking about it)....today's my half birthday! wheeeeeeee!
this means i have 6 months until i turn...


Thursday, April 26, 2007

for some reason, i don't work much this weekend. i feel weird when i don't work...i'll have what seems to be massive time on my hands. last weekend i was in chicago, so i thought i'd be working this weekend but it seems i'm not. i guess i'll just get caught up on things. go get some applications and do some cleaning, maybe wash my car, put down some mo' money on my bike which is inching closer and closer to being mine, and just try to organize my life physically and mentally. my roommates will be out of town as well so i'll also have the place to myself.

life's a weird little pony. i'm teetering lately for reasons i'd rather not get into now especially since i'm waiting for a certain talk with a certain someone about certain things which will absolutely help in giving me less random frantic thoughts and sleepless nights.

all can be well.


no one belongs here more than you.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Friday, April 20, 2007


tomorrow ends my 10-day work-a-thon!
after work i'm off to chicago to see a kid i love.
woo hoo!
the weather will be lovely.
this pleases me.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

i predicted correctly. there were three people working yesterday including myself and we only need two closers each night so.... one guy wanted to close and the other one didn't know what he wanted...so that dude guy and i had to have a coin toss to decide who was staying and who was going. i won so i got to go home.

hooray!

so, what did i do with my time?

well, i got off around 8 and went home to change my clothes. and then met up with darcy and geoff at the deadwood. geoff was grieving his beloved corvette which had gotten totaled earlier in the day...apparently he had the car at his parents house and somehow the gas pedal got stuck while it was started in the driveway and the brakes wouldn't work and it went through the garage causing $20,000 worth of damage and totaling his car. i'm thinking he's lucky that we wasn't driving the car on the street or interstate or whatever when it happened or things could have turned out differently.

anyway, so i spent yesterday at deadwood and went home early. i had a shot of makers and 2 glasses of beer and was spent. it had been quite some time since i've had alcohol since i've been sick so i got tipsy fairly quickly.

and there's a new photo booth at the bar! d & i took pics.

don't ask what i'm doing in the one on the left. i have no idea. darcy thinks she looks too boobariffic in the photos. is that possible? la la la fa la.

Monday, April 16, 2007


i predict i will get off of work early today. what will i do with the wee bit of extra time? ooooh, the possibilities are endless...most likely buy wiper blades or new sunglasses since my old ones are broken. my life! exciting!

will my prediction come true?
i will know by 6. i predict that too.
la la la.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007




that's an unexpected website.

anyway, as you may have guessed i'm a sickly kid. not too bad but i feel wacked out and it's amplified being in this cold basement room. i've been good and drinking orange juice and resting as much as i can. i work a bunch this week so i hope i can get better soon.

i cannot wait for the weather to become nice! it makes me quite happy just thinking about all the fun outdoory things i can do once mother nature cooperates. hooray!



now look at this adorable kitten...as a sandwich! oh gee! ain't that a hoot and a half? what will they think of next!

please kill me. meow.

Sunday, April 01, 2007



it's moving day! i'll be back in iowa city! hooray!

not totally sure if timbo is 100% gone from the basement room but he's generally good about that stuff so we'll see. i think i'll wait until tomorrow anyway to officially move in. it's super rainy today and tomorrow looks like a better day to move my CR stuff in. i have to work tonight as well and tomorrow night but then i'll have three days off which sucks but i'll utilize those days to return the basement to its former glory (as in decorate, go through my old shit, and organize) and go get some job applications. i want another job in addition to my current one so hopefully i'll find something that's worth it. i guess there's open interviews tomorrow at a new bread store that's opening with an oddly high starting wage so i think i'll pop in there and get all interviewed up.

the forecast looks good for the weekend...a wee bit chilly but no rain so that's happiness. it'll be good for when scott comes to visit. hooray!

speaking of hoorays, i went to world of bikes in iowa city yesterday despite the downpouring rain to see if they had the bike i looked at at northtowne cycling in cedar rapids. wob is having a super sale right now and there's a gagillion employees on the floor wearing these horribly bright neon green shirts advertising the sale and with the florescent lighting in the store and the limited space it makes one almost need to pass out. but, for a change, an employee named ryan rode over and asked if needed help and i said that i wanted a bike that i tried in CR and he went off to try to find it. the computer said that it was in the store but he had to go through all the bikes on floor and in the basement to find it. i waited for a good ten minutes while ryan did his thing and then on the eleventh minute or so he started panicking and profusely apologizing to me. he made me feel like i was planning on hitting him which i wasn't, i swears. i had plenty of time before i had to be at work and it was crazy raining outside so i wasn't in any hurry. anyway, to make a long story shorter, ryanino found the bike...but it was in the sold bike section. boo! but ryanino found his manager and asked about it and the manager said that it was possibly a hold but if i wanted to buy it, then he'd let me have it. sure, i feel bad for the dude who put it on hold but it was the bike i wanted and on sale so fuck that. i put money down on it and happily they have a layaway thang there so i have 3 months to pay it off. so, that's cake. i'm sure i'll want to ride it once the weather is less crappy and cold so i figure i won't need 3 months but it's nice to have that option. hooray! bike for me!

i got the giant cypress in gray.



sure, it's a little boring to look at i suppose but once i put on the banana seat, handlebar streamers, and a white wicker basket on the front filled with fuzzy kittens that'll definitely jazz it up a little. i know it!

bike, bike, bike, bike! bike, bike, bike!

Thursday, March 29, 2007


where is the sunshine? the warm weather? the happiness?

this weather is bringing me down. it makes me not think about my vast desire for a new bike. it delays my purchase which is probably a good thing but i want to want to ride and i want to want to play outside and think about skipping work to play outside.

rain rain rain.

coldness.

ROAR!


Thursday, March 15, 2007



so, i may have mentioned to some of you before that i intended on writing my own version of the 100 things you might not know about me after reading one that i found on a random person's blog. i thought it was sweet and neat and it inspired me to try to come up with things that you may not know about me whether you've known me for a million years or haven't met me at all in real life. i'm not entirely done with the list and i'm sure i'll do some revisions but i thought i'd just put up what i have so far, just because i can...and i encourage you to attempt such a list. it's much harder than it appears and you may be surprised with what you come up with. and i'd love to read it. bloop!


100 things you might not know about me:


1. My favorite number is 7 because I’ve always liked it and I guess it’s supposedly lucky. Also, I was born on October 27, 1977. I weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces. My shoe size is 7 (& 1/2). I was 21 inches long at birth which is divisible by 7 and is a bit of stretch but I’ll keep it.

2. In third grade I was reading aloud from my social studies book as was requested by my teacher Mrs. Wickenkamp. I was very nervous and I got to the end of a line which had hypenated the word Ar-
kansas like that which I read out loud as “Ark. Kansas.” My teacher corrected my mistake by enunciating arkanSAW, my face became bright red, and kids laughed. I was humilated.

3.I played the violin in elementary school. I never wanted to play the violin in actuality. I originally wanted to play the viola or cello but Miss Sweet, the bitter old music teacher lady with the salt and pepper crunchy permed hair told me i couldn’t b/c i was too small. She kind of forced me to play the violin. My brother used to play the violin before me (he’s 4 years older) but he quit so my goal became to just play longer than he did. Yay sibling rivalry.

4. My first nickname was Cowhen Moocluck in middle school. My best friend Jenny (who for trivia’s sake was my best friend since preschool until around 7th grade. Things ended badly between us.) and my first boyfriend (that was in 5th grade) Jason and I came up with it I think. It was just animal names similar sounding to my own name with the corresponding noises of the animals. Yup. I even made a plaster cast mirror in art class with the name on it. I still have it along with Jason’s blue Bill and Ted elevator mirror.

5. I was fascinated by the illustrations and story of a really old copy of “The Owl and the Pussycat” when I was little. Maybe it was just a Little Red Schoolhouse version of that story but something about those characters and the moonlight drawings were something close to hyponotic.

6. My favorite painting is “The Automat’ by Edward Hopper.

7. Once I was listening to the radio and the song “Jessie's Girl” made me cry. I thought that would be such a sad situation to be in. It was happy sunshine premenstrual time. Damn you Rick Springfield.

8. I wish I could get away with calling significant others such things as “sweetheart” or “darling” or “baby” but it just sounds ridiculous coming from my mouth. “baby” sounds particularly silly. I have since changed my mind. I enjoy saying baby now. Everything else still kinda feels odd on my lips.

9. I am happiest with sunshine on my face.

10. The Cure’s “Close To Me” always pleases me. I remember the first time I heard it I was in Colorado riding in the back of Jessica Parke’s car, Darcy in the front seat, and we were listening to some local radio station. Just when the song came on the sun came out and made the snow on the mountains sparkle so much it was hard to see. I was happy. I almost peed my pants because I’d never heard it before.

11. I enjoy sludge coffee at convenience stores...also known as french vanilla cappuccino. It is mandatory to drink to start a road trip. In particular early morning car trips.

12. A short while before losing my virginity I re-read The Bell Jar. This is not an intelligent thing to do. That contains a not-so-pretty losing your virginity scene that would freak out any non-sex having person.

13. I never watched Fraggle Rock. I did watch The Muppet Show though. And Sesame Street mostly. Not much Electric Company.

14. I was co-president of the Iowa Naturalists Club in high school. And secretary of Japanese Club. I was involved in theatre, art club, and some other stuff I can’t remember...the yearbook says I was a Flag Girl but that’s a lie. What’s a Flag Girl?

15. I hate people who talk past you or talk to you while scanning the room for other people. Don’t bother talking to me at all please.

16. I adore it when kittens open their mouths to mew but nothing comes out. It is too adorable.

17. I find myself prone to depression more so in the last year. It rarely lasts a significant amount of time but it can linger about and make me sad.

18. I’m fond of liquid eyeliner. Fascinating!

19. I love carnival games but I rarely go to places that have them anymore and if I do go I don’t play the games because they cost too much. I remember with great great love my Grant Wood Elementary School May Day Carnival. There was the Dum-Dum lollipop tree, the ping pong ball toss (to win live goldfish--and it was fairly easy to win much to the chagrin of anti-pet parents), a crappy jewelry engraving station (where you could have anything you wanted engraved onto cheap gold trinkets), a face-painting station, the rubber duck pond where you pick a duck and the number on the bottom is the number of the prize you get, etc. I had great fun at this carnival. But, it was also the scene or reason behind a couple of the most tragedy-filled (you know, for a kid): (1) the cake walk incident. I, for the first time ever, won the cake walk. And had practically first dibs on a wide variety of delicious (and not-so delicious) desserts. Like a kid in a candy store, literally. cake store, anyway. So after a long long time I decided that I wanted this beautiful 3-layered chocolate mint cake. So the the PTA moms put my name on it and told me to come back at the end of the day to pick it up. So, I come back all excited and ready to take my next best friend home & find to my horror that someone had taken MY cake walk win. The stupid PTA moms were all like, ‘darn. that’s too bad.’ All that was left were some generic m&m hy-vee cookies that was already opened. I was very very sad. I vowed never to cake walk again. (2) I guess there’s not much of a story about the second tra-tra-tragedy. My last year at Grant Wood (5th grade) I got sick and my parents wouldn’t let me go to the Carnival. I missed the last carnival marking the end of my elementary school career. I was very sad.

20. A boy once asked me to couple skate with him by dedicating the song ‘Hungry Eyes’ to me at Skate Country in 4th Grade. I did. How could I not? Seriously.

21. I cut my own hair. And color it too. And fuck around with it entirely too much.

22. I hate having to buy to toilet paper and feminine hygiene products. I don’t know why. It just makes me mad.

23. I’m a packrat. I can manage to throw some things away but there are certain things that I have that fall into a hazy category that I may one day use so I don’t want to discard to find that it would have been something I needed. In particular clothing and art stuff I have trouble letting go of.

24. I’ve never been a smoker. It just never caught on. I’ve smoked plenty of cigarettes and cigars since my first one in high school but I’ve never found myself, well, addicted. I did love cloves though. They smell really nice and leave that twinge on sweetness on your lips. Maybe because my mom smoked for twenty-some years and I always hated it growing up had a little something to do with it. Or I was just lucky to not find myself craving the nicotine as others have.

25. I love baths. But I grew up taking baths from a wee kid up until high school. All the places I lived (the farm, that apartment complex, the house on MVR) had bathtubs. My mom’s new place had a shower as did my first apartment. So, I now I love showers. They’re quicker. Easier. And you don’t lie around and soak in dirty water. Or need to clean that nasty ring around the tub.

26. Old bandname: Realistic Dino Skin
New bandname: Don’t Bet On a Craphorse

27. I secretly love to play games...as in board games and games in bars like pool or darts but I find myself unable to play them in front of other people I don’t know. I get entirely self-conscious which ruins the fun. That’s really weird, I know.

28. I’ve never gotten a manicure, pedicure, facial, or gone tanning...ever. Once, I got a 1/2 hour massage at a massage therapist’s because I got a gift certificate. I like massages though. If I were richer, I’d like to get some more of those sometimes. I’m wicked tense all the time.

29. I find it very saddening that Iowa City doesn’t have much decent live music come through here anymore. Remember Pavement, Stereolab, Decemberists, etc....

30. I’m very allergic to mosquitoes. More so than the average person. I puff up and it’s not good at all. I don’t even need to itch it. It just gets huge and evil. I am a tasty treat for the mosquitoes.

31. I hate doing my dishes.

32. My favorite flower is the calla lily. And tulips.

33. I find Kevin Bacon creepy and don’t understand how people can be attracted to that corpse. Patrick Swayze’s appeal was always a mystery too. Especially when one of my friend Jeanette was obsessed with him after watching ‘Dirty Dancing.’ I thought she was nuts. She kept talking about how hot his body was and I thought that was gross.

34. I loved Garfield when I was younger. I thought he was delightfully sarcastic. I also loved how he tried to mail Nermal to foreign destinations like Abudabe.Yes, I looked up how to spell Abudabe because I'm a nerd but apparently my source was wack because it's Abu Dhabi. Scott's right and he should know. Now go eat some tasty lasagna.

35. My parents stressed the importance of washing fruit before eating it...so much so that I was extremely worried about not doing it. Once my brother made me mad and I gave him an unwashed apple thinking I was going to kill him if he ate it. He took a bite and I think I knocked it out of his hand and felt bad that I tried to kill my brother. I was maybe 6.

36. I took baton twirling lessons for 2 years in elementary school. I took ballet and tap for one class.

37. I was never in Brownies or Girl Scouts or anything like that. I never went to summer camp either. Sometimes I went to this day camp at my school during the summer to do crafts and play noc hockey, mancala (i still love that game), tetherball, 4 square, etc. It was pretty lame but fun. I particularly liked craft time. Oh, the things you can do with popsicle sticks, glue, glitter, macaroni, and a dream.

38. I grew up on a farm in Cedar Rapids. My dad still owns it. My grandparents had it before him. Alfalfa and cattle. It’s not being used for farming anymore.

39. I’ve never gotten flowers from a boy. Ever. Isn’t that lame? I mean, I’ve gotten corsages for school dances but that involved the boy’s mother stopping at hy-vee’s floral dept and picking up a plastic boxed carnation thing on sale. that doesn’t count. i had a boyfriend who stole one rose from his dad’s 2 dozen rose valentine present to his wife to give me. this was days after valentine’s day, mind you. that doesn’t count either. while visiting him in new york, you know how there’s flower markets on just about every damn street corner? i mentioned repeatedly that they were so pretty...then, i’d like someone to get me some someday...then, i would like some now...then, i would like this bouquet right here...then, i’m going to buy these for myself...then, fuck you, you stupid sack of crap. this boy considered himself a romantic and observant. uh, no. in re-reading this, i'm tickled how pissy i sound. it was a ridiculous thing though...i think if something as simple as that could make someone you're with happy (or anyone for that matter) then be good and nice and do it. i would...that's all. hmmm...is this about flowers at all? for now, yes. flowers are pretty.

40. My first cassette tape was The Bangles “A Different Light”.

41. I always wait until after the first of the new year to buy a new calendar. There’s something I love about choosing one out of the ones no one wants that pleases me. Finding one that I like out of so many that I don’t and no one else does either. Plus I just refuse to spend $12.95 or more on something like that. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s really just a dollar a month but I won’t have it. Sure, that story started off kinda of sweet and then it just ended with me being cheap. Oh well.

42. Milk. I used to drink whole milk, as in from the cow milk on the farm. Then, 2%. My best friend drank skim. I thought it was disgusting. It was watered down good milk and I thought her family was crazy. I also used to pronounce it ‘melk.’ now i drink 1% usually. happy medium.

43. There are some people on this planet that I just have for the life of me no idea what they’re saying ever. Either they’re strange mumblers or low-talkers or something and I cannot understand them. I think I’m just incapable to pick up on their frequency because I really just see their lips moving and yet I just have no clue what they’re taking about. Case in point...in high school I had a teacher named Mr. Pink (who was really fucking awesome by the way, but...) I had NO CLUE what he was saying at any given time. I knew he was speaking, I could hear sounds but to distinguish those sounds as actual words was not something I could do. Others had this problem with him I guess but then there were those who didn’t & thought I was just a total nutter for not knowing what the frick he was saying. This happens occasionally with people to this day. I find it wholly disturbing.

44. I want to learn how to knit.

45. My favorite subjects in school (before college, besides art) were: biology, humanities class--in particular the mythology unit, creative writing, and acting. In college (besides art & art history): acting, psychology, and papermaking/center for the book classes.

46. I considered being an drama or psychology major.

47. I think clothes for pets is a form of animal cruelty.

48. The oldest man I’ve kissed was 42. He was the professor of a friend. This was in ‘06.

49. I failed my driver’s license test the first time I took it. I got an A- in the class at school but I was picked as one of the “lucky” random people who’s required to take a road test at the DMV after taking the written exam. I failed after I didn’t come to a complete stop at a red light before taking a right turn back into the parking lot of the stupid DMV. So close! But, I went back the next week and passed with flying colors.

50. I don’t wear nail polish.

51. I really like being near water. Any kind really...lakes, rivers, ponds, oceans, etc. I find it comforting and very pretty to look at usually. Sunsets are particularly lovely over the water.

52. I spend way too much time online. Way, way, way too much time. Especially on myspace. I’m addicted. I don’t know why. It’s not that interesting really.

53. I don’t like to wear jewelry...as in expensive jewelry store jewelry. Sure, I like pretty necklaces and things but it doesn’t need to be real. I won’t feel as bad if it gets lost.

54. I didn’t see the movie Grease until it was re-released in theaters.

55. I’ve been asked to sign autographs before. Impressed? Well, the ones asking were young children after seeing me in my starring role in high school as an extra in the Playtime Poppy production of King Midas and the Magic Touch. I was playing Lady DeCorum. I got my picture taken with some of them. It was very cute.

56. I hate olives. They're gross.

57. I’m not allergic to anything that I know of.

58. School mascots: Grant Wood Little Warriors, McKinley Middle School Bears, Washington High School Warriors, Kirkwood College Eagles, University of Iowa Hawkeyes. Hmmmm...warriors, bears, and birds, oh my.

59. I do not feel the need to have a gagillion shoes. I have black boots that I wear with most everything. Brown boots for the other clothes. Then, I have some simples, running shoes, and 1 pair of dressy shoes. That sounds like a lot. I guess. My mom has like 50 pairs and they’re all basically the same black shoes. I always thought that was weird.

60. I used to laugh uncontrollably without much reason as a kid. Sometimes it was a word or a look my best friend would give me. Once I recall thinking how funny the word paper was and I think I peed my pants laughing so hard.

61. I’m fairly certain my best friend’s house was haunted. Stuff would be moved around when you’d leave the room and come back. I guess the old lady who lived in the house before they moved in had lived there a really long time and died there. Playing in her backyard I remember seeing a shadowy figure in the attic window watching us play when nobody was at home. It was creepy.

62. I don’t particularly like scary movies. I still freak myself out sometimes. Terrible images pop into my head right before I fall asleep causing me to have nightmares. Movies that have freaked me out: the pool scene in Poltergeist, the skinless corpse running along side the car in (i think) the color version remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the pink skeleton torso that screeches “brains! brains!” in Return of the Living Dead, and more recently the out-of-the-tv crawling Samara in The Ring which is not a good movie but that scene freaked me out.

63. I love sentimental people. I love being sentimental. It’s very sweet.

64. I can’t curl my tongue.

65. In the last five years I’ve become increasingly frightened of tornadoes. Last week’s F2 tornado that ripped through Iowa City (and a block away from my house no less) has reinforced my fear. No shit. Tornado: 4/13/06

66. I miss those sparkly kitty stickers you could get for 50-cents from toy machines.

67. I love ski lifts but not on ski slopes. Just at Adventureland. Though I do not like heights. [Man, I’m admitting a lot of fears on this list.]

68. The best memory I have of Adventureland (the Iowa amusement park of choice in Des Moines that I went to countless times since a wee one) is the 8th grade end-of-the-school-year field trip during school and the time Darcy & I went and ate a lot of disgusting food: foot-long chili dogs, cheese fries, funnel cake, fresh squeezed lemonade. It was so gross but so good. We should have puked. I remember that part more so than the rides...that can’t be good.

69. Circuses and zoos are depressing and evil.

70. When I was a kid I wanted to be a marine biologist and work exlusively around the Great Barrier Reef.

71. I only like writing with black roller ball pens in particular Pilot pens. I only journal with black ink. It’s important.

72. In fourth grade my nemesis was a boy named Adrian Hill. We would spit on each other at recess and call each other names. He was a jerk. One time I pushed him and grabbed his collar but I accidentally stratched his neck when I did that. I made him bleed. After recess he told on me to my teacher Miss Gerloff who responded by saying, “Well, if Karen did it you probably deserved it.” She was my all-time favorite teacher.

73. Yes, I liked NKOTB. Joey was my favorite. I thought he was dreamy. He sang “Please Don’t Go Girl” to me.

74. My favorite color is blue-violet. I find it calming. I may have first really figured out it was my favorite when I kept noticing that most cars used that color on the dash when you’d turn on the high beams...at least the cars I drove in high school did.

75. I have social anxiety issues. i'm serious.

76. All time favorite shows I’ve been to: David Bowie in Minneapolis, Pavement at the Union Bar in IC, Pixies (in Lincoln, NB and at Lollapalooza), Decemberists at the Mill in IC...

77. Jobs I’ve had: cashier, sales associate (many times), cook, server, concession stand worker at a baseball park (i know nothing about baseball), packager, welder, pizza delivery driver, warehouse work, housekeeper, detasseler (for one horrible day), telemarketer (one day), babysitter (i rarely did this unlike most of my friends), grocery store cookie sample girl, photography assistant. My first job was as a Target "Food Avenue" employee. It sucked my ass.

78. I’m right-handed. When we learned penmanship in school I would always grip the pencil too tightly. I had that problem for a long time so that the pencil rubbed against my middle finger and it formed a callous there. It’s still there a little bit because I still do it sometimes.

79. In junior high I thought I was going to one day be a surfer and subscribed to Surfer magazine (for a year).

80. I love that snow that look like fluffs of cotton batting. It floats about and falls so slowly that it doesn’t look real. I always get that feeling like I’m in a snow globe when it snows like that.

81. One summer in junior high I applied to be a camp counselor at a Christian Bible camp in Mount Pleasant with my friend Jamie who went to the older kids version of the camp every year. The guy who ran it came to interview us together. He brought those sticks as an icebreaker. It was lame. But really funny because I had never been to church in my life and I was attempting to convince this dude that I could teach bible stuff to kids while trying to twirl rubber-coated sticks. I think at one point he asked me why I’d make a good counselor and I said something like because “I think it’s important to get kids to understand Jesus...and stuff.” I did not get the job.

82. I love Tropical Fruit Kool-Aid. It’s my favorite flavor. As a kid though I never had a Kool-Aid or lemonade stand. I thought it was lame. How could you really make any money? I’d spent it on candy anyway. Favorite candy as a kid? Lik-A-Maid, Skor, and I really liked those Hostess chocolate pudding pies that eventually became affliated with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You’d get a free sticker with every one you’d buy. I’d almost always get Leonardo.

83. I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but I can never decide what to get and where. These are important to know in order to get one. I’m glad I didn’t get one in high school. I’m sure I would have ended up with a butterfly on my ankle. Same with piercing. The only piercing I really like is labret piercings but I’m sure it’d just fuck up my teeth. I’m so not hard core. Obviously. Oh, by the way, I despise eyebrow rings.

84. I have a fear of dark water. Like, when you’d go boating and stop off somewhere to swim. I’d always hestitate to jump in because I’d think about what could be in there and just how deep it is.

85. I’ve always really wanted ride in a hot air balloon. I’m sure once you’re up there it gets pretty boring pretty quick but something about it really appeals to me.

86. I adore the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was just thinking about it the other day and it’s obviously a great movie but the more I think about it, I think it’s just blissfully beautiful. It simulataneously makes me elated and depressed about love in general and the nature of relationships...but in the end it makes me feel like love or even the chance of love is worth it. I feel that way about all my relationships even the ones that really didn’t work you learn about yourself and all in all a connection is something that shouldn’t be ignored, rather celebrated and acknowledged as a very precious and wonderous thing.

87. I wish I went off on my own sooner. I’m glad I spent time in Chicago. It makes me realize a lot about myself. Like, school is important, I feel for personal reasons and in the event that you have a set idea for what you’d like to do with your life but in many ways I don’t think that you need it to succeed. Yes, it definitely helps and there are those careers that you choose where it is essential but if you’re dedicated, you can still do well without it, in particular those jobs which require creativity.

88. If I could go back in time, I wish I’d learned to play an instrument or ten.

89. I constantly chronicle the Ache. It shows up in my life in different capacities. It must be dealt with.

90. I’m very disappointed with Cracker Jack prizes these days. It pains me. That, and the absence of awesome Saturday morning cartoons.

91. I am constantly writing lists. Things to do. Things I want to accomplish. Things that will make me healthy. How to organize my room. I don’t think I ever fully complete a list (as in check everything off) but somehow the writing of the list makes me feel less stressed out about it. The release of the burden through the acknowledgement of its existence by writing it down.


92. I deliver the 'zas in Iowa City. At one time I never would have considered this job because I feared not knowing the city well enough and getting lost all the time. Well, I still don't know the city all that well and get lost sometimes but I'm learning and I love delivering. It's like getting to repeatedly sneak away from work, hang out in my car and listen to music, and have a mini-adventure while getting a little peak into other people's lives and events. It's fun.

93. I'm too lazy to check to see if I mentioned this already...so I'll just type it and check later. My favorite song for many many many months is "I'll Be On The Water" by Akron/Family. Sometimes it sounds just so beautiful that I have to close my eyes, curl my toes, sigh and smile.

94. The NuvaRing is the best thing ever. I'm just saying...

95. I think about taking daily vitamins almost daily. In the time it takes me to think of it I probably could have just taken the vitamin but I usually get distracted by shiny things or pancakes.

96. I will one day shave my head...and it'll feel oh so good...and look oh so ridiculous but I still wanna.

97. I used to be fascinated by trilobite fossils when I was younger. I thought they were so awesome. Also, after reading my Weekly Reader's Science News in 4th Grade I was ferociously fascinated by the live coelacanth that fishermen found off the coast of South Africa. Over 400 million years old and relatively unchanged since then, pre-dating the dinosaurs, how could a kid not love that? And it's creepy. Check it:

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

today started off fairly nice and then as the day wore on it got colder and windier and suckier. stupid weather! it's supposed to stay gorgeous and happy forever.

anyway, i still went bike shopping today. i went to northtowne cycling and fitness in CR and the sales dude was particularly helpful and nice. i discovered that the sales staff doesn't work on commission so they were actually helpful rather than you-need-this-bike-right-now helpful. the dude showed me a lot of stuff and i got to test ride a few in the parking lot (but i was absolutely forbidden from riding in the streets because i didn't have a helmet). i loved the women's giant cypress. it felt soooooooo good to ride and went super fast. the shifting was fantastic...so much better than any other bike i've ever ridden let alone owned. so, the dude offered me a discount on top of their sale price on their 2006 models but i found that in iowa city the very same bike is still even cheaper. it's still more than i want to spend right now (on anything) but it is such a great purchase and something that i would definitely use a lot...especially once i return to iowa city. hmmm....what to do, what to do? any helpful thoughts?



this is the blue (that i don't think i like). it also comes is a dark gray. i'm not the biggest fan of either color but i suppose it's more about the ride than the color. yeah, yeah...

kinda sick of the smell of pizza in my car. i think i'll need to air out and febreeze the shiznit out of my veehickle.

the weather is so fantastic lately. i never want it to get any colder. sunshine and warmness. it's bliss! i went to palisades-kepler park yesterday with darcy to hike. it was a bit challenging since it was super muddy but we managed to not slip or fall thanks to our amazing balancing abilities and our walking sticks that we found part way through our hike.

i've been desperately wanting to go camping the last few months and the recent nice weather has amplified this desire. i've also been researching bikes online and would really like to get a nice new women's hybrid bike. i'm by no means a seasoned rider but i would really like to have a better bike that would be super comfy and that i could ride on the street and on trails. i'd love to be able to ride some of the bike trails at sugarbottom this summer. anyway, provided i can save the money, i'm thinking of getting a women's giant sedona, like this one:
the reviews are good and it's not too bad in terms of price. plus, there's a place in CR that has 'em on sale right now. i think i'm gonna check it out tomorrow just to try it out and see what i really want. i've never had a good bike before. i had huffy bikes as a kid and then i bought a couple old schwinn's at goodwill or salvation army that were decent but i'd really like something that i'll really like. well, we'll see how this goes. i probably just don't have the cash for this kind of purchase right now anyway. but i'll be a happy girl if i can ride about while the weather is so beautiful.

that's all for now.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Important Information:

Apparently if I were a tarot card this is the one I'd be.


Which Tarot Card Are You?




You are the Strength card. Strength occurs when we are able to work with our primal instincts. In Aleister Crowley's Book of Thoth, this card is called Lust. Lust can be thought of as the source of our inner power. Our desires, when firmly held, provide us with the energy and direction we need to achieve our goals. Strength relates to the practice of magick. Magick is the ability to use the will to alter reality in some way. In the strength card, we see a woman, by way of her gentleness and will, tame a wild lion. Her own inner capabilities have enabled her to perform this magickal feat. This is the kind of spiritual or primal strength that is indicated by this card. Image from The Stone Tarot deck. http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Saturday, March 10, 2007



oh! i ache to be on vacation!

fortunately, the weather is becoming nicer and is supposedly going to reach somewhere in the vicinity of 60 degrees sometime soonish. this may be a weather lie but if it's isn't, i will blissfully run amok provided it is 60 degrees with sunshiny warmness rather than 60 degrees and down pouring...though, i think i might enjoy a good frolic in the rain.

scott is in florida right now with his pops doing manly guy stuff involving cars and motorcycles, motor oil, and wearing speedos. maybe not the last one especially with his dad but i'll bet he's having a grand time. i hope he wears his sunscreen so he doesn't return a lobster.

so, yes, scott and i have decided to give it another go. we seem to be smarter kids now so i am optimistic about it all. i wish i felt the need to write about the subject more so right now but there's nothing else to say except i'm excited and extremely happy.

maybe i'll feel more inclined to share in the future but for now i'm just too busy feeling happy stuff and looking forward to the time we're able to spend together. he's still lives in chicago so that still makes it tough but, again, we're gonna be smarter this time 'round. yes? yes!

so, i have to be at work in about three hours...bah! the wedgery delivery is slightly bumming me out. i think it has to do with the fact that i'm still living in cr. driving between cr and ic to drive more once i get to ic is taking its toll...on me and my car. my focus and i don't have the same relationship we once had...it hates me a little now. i get in the driver's seat and it sighs and mumbles, "oh, YOU again."

i guess this situation will be remedied on april 1st, provided it's not a cruel april fool's day joke. i will have the basement room back at darcy's house at that point since timbo will be moving out at the end of this month. i've been looking at other options lately because it didn't seem that i would be able to move back at any point soon but all those options were either ridiculously expensive sublets (and i'd have to find another place to live by the end of the summer) or roommate situations that typically consisted of wanna-be frat dudes who wanted to rent out an extra room so as to have more money for beer. oh, that's not true...only 2 of the 3 roommate situations appeared that way. on a side note, it's hot when guys call me dude while giving me a tour of their apt (aka giant roach trap).

anyway, so i'll have a place to live in ic but it's still over three weeks away. this commute is making me nuts...and making me dislike my job. i hate spending so much on gas. i'm constantly at the pump or scoping out gas stations.

well, that's it for now. i have to eat something that's not pizza before i head off to work.



buddha, raising the roof. holla!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Just how well do you know Karen?
Well, now you can find out!
Take this quiz!

Leaderboard
Create your own Friend Quiz here

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

tens. a survey of tens.

TEN FAVORITES
01. show - colbert report
02. flower- calla or stargazer lily
03. color - blue-violet
04. sport- basketball or volleyball
05. mall- i don’t like malls.
06. music- currently clap your hands, akron/family, and pixies (always pixies)
07. food - today i was in the mood for mexican
09. day - friday
10. city - venice, nyc

TEN FACTS
01. birthplace- cedar rapids, iowa
02. hair color- brown
03. hair length - shorter
04. hair style - um, maintained.
05. eye color - brown
06. shoe size - 7.5
07. mood - antipicatory, anxious
08. smell - vanilla
09. available - nope and it feels good
10. lefty/righty - righty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
01. have you ever been in love - yes
02. do you believe in love - yes, very much
03. why did your last relationship fail - we’re working on it
04. have you ever broken someone's heart - yes
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend - no
07. have you ever loved someone but never told them - no
08. are you afraid of commitment - no
09. have you ever had a secret admirer - yes but i guess it wasn’t secret then, was it?
10. do you believe in love at first sight - attraction, yes. love, no.

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT
01. love or money - love
02. hard liquor or beer - beer
04. one night stands or relationships- relationships
05. television or internet - both are addictive.
06. pepsi or coke - pepsi
07. wild night out or romantic night in - romantic night (i’ve had my share of wild nights out, i’d prefer the other)
08. colored or black and white pictures - depends
09. phone or in person - in person always
10. AIM or MySpace- um, for instant convo IMing.

TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
01. have you ever been caught sneaking out - yes
02. have you ever skinny dipped - yes
03. have you ever done something you regret - sure
04. have you ever bungee jumped - not yet (i hope to)
06. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker - yeah
07. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? yes
08. have you ever been streaking - no
09. have you ever ran away - nope
10. have you ever caught your parents - that would’ve been amazing. not in a good way.


TEN EMOTIONS
01. are you missing someone right now - yes very much
02. are you happy - usually i feel good
03. are you talking to anyone right now - yes
04. are you bored - of this survey yes
05. are you German - no
06. are you Irish - no
07. are you French - no
08. are you Italian - no
09. are your parents still married - no
10. do you like someone right now - i more than like someone.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


it was fat tuesday yesterday. i went to a mardi gras party at the deadwood. i dressed up. i entered a costume contest...and lost (again!). there was a $100 dollar prize that was upped to $200 at the last minute. man, that would've been wicked rad to win some cash. people kept telling me all night that i should win and that they'd hoot and holler for me on stage when the time came...but i think they were all too drunk to do anything once the actual costume contest came to be which was after midnight. super lame...but actually the super lamest thing was that the guy that won was just one of those people who wear the rental costume. last night it was a creepy clown outfit which was really just an oversized mask and clown pants. at least he got his rental money back...and then some.

arrrgh! actually i just wanted to put up a pic as an example of the lameness that the dude was wearing but i'm pretty sure i found the actual costume. and the last time the 'wood had a contest the non-creative rental won as well. not cool. anyway, here's the pic of the freaky clown.

freaky, yes, but deserving of a prize...i think not. oh well. i figure that we should just insist on a CREATIVE costume contest next year. that'd be special.

speaking of special, here's darcy and i in our costumes. darcy is in her super darcy crimefighter/server of cold beer costume and i wear my va-va-va voom dress with red plummage. the bottom part of the dress that you can't see is the neat part--it flares out in black and whiteness. darcy was in the contest too. we should've beat up that dumb clown.



i love this picture of darcy:























me, looking a wee bit nuts:

Monday, February 12, 2007



went to the grizzley bear/dirty projectors show at pica-gabe's last night with deadwood mitch. it was a pleasant evening. ate at masala. it was an early show so it was only around 9:30 when it was over so we went back to the deadwood and drank beers. darcy was supposed to come to the show but she was in hangoverland.

the show was really good overall. the dirty projectors were okay. but grizzley bear was really quite lovely. i would recommend that you see them live. mitch hadn't heard of them before but felt compelled to buy their yellow house album. excellente.

Monday, February 05, 2007

give, give, give 'til it hurts.

my relationships are important to me. of course they are. but, there are certain days when i acknowledge it moreso than usual and i feel, feel, feel exceptionally good-spirited in knowing what i know.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

tomorrow i will begin the factory job...at 6 AM. ugh. i can't say that i'm too excited but it's work and it'll do. i highly doubt it'll be inspiring work but if i think of it in terms of its daily monetary value then i'm sure i can manage. twelve hour shifts. ugh!

i gots to save up for one of these chains, so i gots to do what i gots to do.

Friday, February 02, 2007

hey, it's february. yay february!

actually, feb hasn't really ever been that good to me (it's cold! brrrr!). plus, when i'm single it's a constant reminder that i am single. the barrage of red and pink in the form of roses, boxes of heart-shaped candies, shiny "i love you" balloons, hallmark cards, and all that silliness. it's the aisle i go to great lengths to avoid when i'm in a supermarket and it's all ridiculous because i don't even like valentine's day. even if i were with someone all that crap that i guess i'm supposed to like just doesn't mean that much to me. sure, i like flowers and would like to get some for a change but not the humdrumitty of red roses. i'd actually prefer a potted plant so that it could actually live longer than 3-4 days and not depress me once the petals started sloughing off and turning brown. a homemade card/drawing or a potted plant...yup, i'd probably get teary-eyed and definitely say, "awwwww"...moreso if it weren't valentine's day.



i think i'm actually more excited about groundhog's day each year. what a goofy celebration. i love it. it's basically a day where people poke at a groundhog which somehow equals a weather prediction. it's so stupid, it's great. poor little sleepy animal. i know i hate being awakened from a restful slumber but i can't imagine how it might feel to be awakened and held up in front of a crowd of thousands in the cold, televised, and shoved back into a cage wondering what the hell just happened.

the drawing is cute. the real life picture is rather frightening.



i will eat your brains!
and all your valentine's day candy!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

it has been a while since i've written an official post on this here bloggitty. i've been writing another off-and-on in not-so-secret which i may just begin using as my blog of all blogs in the future. that one is of gut-wrenching stuff that felt particularly private as i wrote it which i decided to not publicly publish but now as my perceptions are mildly changing and evolving into something else, it feels more of something i'd like chronicled just because it was who i was at that time. owning up to such thoughts and realizations about myself and others that have both positively and negativedly influenced me, is important to help me let go of those things that i have allowed to permeate my mind, sometimes to an unhealthy degree.

being healthy is important!

anyway, i'm very glad that i have this new job. i find it oddly fulfilling which is bizarre considering it's just a delivery job. but the people who work there are fantastic. i'm still the odd man out but everyone in a way seems that way there. that's a strange way to put that. anyway, everyone is unique in mostly delightful ways and yet have the same core stuff in that they're kind and compassionate and don't take life too seriously. this is good for me. i've been so wrapped up in the issues in my head that it's such a wonderous thing to listen to other people talk about their lives and their dramas and happy things. i do like to listen and the people at work have been more than willing to chat about themselves. apparently it was a group decision to hire me anyway and that's a happy thing as well. so, i'm happy to be employed but i'm happier that i'm employed at a place that's enjoyable to go to.

i have another job as well. tomorrow is orientation. it's a fun-filled factory job where i will be working 12-hour shifts 3-4 days a week. it'll be fine! i like to test myself with these jobs anyway. it won't be forever and i always find that these jobs have a tendency to simultaneously wake me up and put me to sleep. it's the monotony and escape that has it's appeal i imagine. it'll be fine! i'm trying to convince myself. it'll be fine!

anyway, if it's not, i can always escape-escape so there's that.

well, as far as my mental health goes, i'm doing better these days. the shining sun is helping and on ocassion the fucking cold wakes me. i'm motivated. i want to do things, more things and i think that has a lot to do with my change in diet and exercising. i hope to continue working out because i aim to bench press my friends by summer.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


scott's drawing assignment: the elusive rhinoctopusquirrellama