i am 30.
I am 30.

hmmmm....i feel a little different. but that's just the part of myself that decided that it would be nice to feel different, i imagine. i am still me, of course. continuous me. throughout my teen years and into my twenties, hell, even when i was 29 (just three days ago) i felt like 30 was sooooo fucking old. you were doomed at 30. you're in it for sure. what exactly? not sure...adulthood i guess. but, i still feel the same more or less. i change everyday and yet not change. i evaluate my thoughts, feelings, experiences at varying levels every moment and then re-evaluate them. i think if anything has changed it is my ability to appreciate this fully. i feel like i've taken some things for granted. hell, i take most things for granted...it's how i can survive the day. if i didn't i'd probably be so overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone and everything that has impacted me throughout this day and all the other days of my life that i could do nothing but cry. and i'd be grateful for that too.

as cheesy as it sounds, each day IS a gift. my heart is full.

super cool website of the day!
[clicky clicky]

come to my party
or i'll sick this freaky bee on you.

buzz buzz buzz

FYI:

"dude, karen's gonna be all thirty in a week."

i mentioned my birthday's coming up, right?

i love halloween.
and cakes.
i love halloween cakes.
my birthday is in less than 2 weeks.
i love birthday cakes too.
is a combination bday/halloween celebration called a halloday or a birthween?
i can't decide.

boo! read this.
now THAT'S scary.

sure, i'll do another one of these:

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:	When It's Cold I'd Like To Die -- Moby
Waking up:	Rock Bottom Riser -- smog
Average day:	Under Pressure -- Bowie/Queen
First date:	Inflammatory Writ -- Joanna Newsom
Falling in love:	Head Over Heels -- The Go-Go's
Love scene:	Sorrow Boy -- Akron/Family
Fight scene:	Dog In Heat -- Missy Elliot
Breaking up:	Idioteque -- Radiohead
Getting back together:	A.W.O.L. --Yellowcard
Secret love:	Had A Dad -- Jane's Addiction (gross)
Life's okay:	It's Too Late --The Streets
Mental breakdown:	Diamond Dogs -- Bowie
Driving:	Torn Curtain -- Television
Learning a lesson:	Tear Out my Eyes --Tricky
Deep thought:	Bad Wisdom -- Suzanne Vega
Flashback:	American Girl -- Tom Petty
Partying:	Peking Saint -- Cat Power
Happy dance:	Me-Jane -- PJ Harvey
Regreting:	Jacksonville -- Sufjan Stevens
Long night alone:	Happy Ending -- Pizzicato 5
Death scene:	Motion Picture Soundtrack -- Radiohead
Closing credits:	Bitches Ain't Shit cover -- Ben Folds
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i have no idea.

smoke 'em if you got 'em

all glory to the hypnotoad!

it's october!
do the monster mash.