random videos

punch with 2 sides of bjork

i think i need a bell dress and a dancing boyfriend cat.
but then, who doesn't?

the man with the beautiful eyes

What's this? A Survey? Again?

1. What the heck is your name?
what the heck? it’s karen.

2. Do you bite your nails?
not really.

3. Are you a jealous person?
i suppose i can be.

4. What are you allergic to?
stupid people

5. What books, if any, have made you cry?
i can’t recall any right now.

6. Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
sure. i wonder why they say it when they could just say that they’ll see me around or something else non-committal.

7. What is your favorite simple ice cream flavor?
chocolate chip cookie dough

8. Whose car were you in last?
mine

9. What would you rather be doing right now?
roadtripping, on a real beach, exploring, singing

10. What song lyrics, if any, are stuck in your head at the moment?
my iTunes is playing, "Sade, es-tu diabolique ou divin? Sade, are you diabolical or divine?"

12. What did you dress up as for Halloween? What did you do?
i had two costumes. one was an unimaginitive zombie can-can dancer and the other was a crazy cat lady in a bathrobe with many cats attached. i was in chicago and participated in a costume contest at the gallery cabaret with scotto roboto. i did not win. luckily we were in a bar so i could drown my sorrow.

13. What are your favorite TV shows?
i don’t watch tv anymore.

14. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
same

15. Can others make you cry easily?
oh it depends on the subject. there’s certain subjects that almost always make me cry to talk about.

16. Who was the last person to piss you off?
a boyfriend.

17 Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
yes but i certainly am not a stickler about the grammar obviously.

18. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
do they list those on the back? huh.

19. If you could be any type of fruit, what would you be?
i’d prefer to not be fruit. thanks.

23. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
7-8.

25. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
does the ground count? camping a week ago or so. the actual floor, i don’t know.

26. Have you ever been attracted to someone, but not physically?
yes indeedy.

27. What are some things that are needed in a relationship?
trust, compassion, physical/mental attraction,

28. Do you like traveling via airplane?
not really. but it gets you there faster.

29. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
if they were a good person and all that. and hopefully the tatts are not really stupid like 1200 tasmanian devils or tweety birds or something like that. i couldn’t make out with that.

30. Do you believe the guy or girl should pay on the first date?
whomever asks should pay. but i’ll always assume dutch.

32. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
a little.

33. Which do you make: dreams or plans?
both...though you make plans and have dreams, right?

34. Can you speak any languages other than English?
i barely speak english.

35. What is your favorite salad dressing?
caesar

36. What movies do you know every line to?
labyrinth and some others

37. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
no but some of my exes are my best friends now

38. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
yes

39. Have you told someone else that secret?
no

40. Would you rather take the picture or be in it?
i usually take the picture but i like being in them more.

41. Do you wear flip-flops?
nope

42. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
i have no idea.

43. How many siblings do you have?
1

44. What's the sweetest thing someone has done for you?
don’t know.


45. When was your last road trip?
i don’t recall. does iowa city to chicago count? for some reason it doesn’t feel like it.

46. Name 3 countries you've been to:
italy, south korea, japan

47. Name 6 bands that you like:
pixies, the cure, cut copy, talking heads, camera obscura, ween

48. What are 2 names that you go by?
karen, karen

49. Who is in the house with you?
no one.

50. What are you thinking about right now?
going outside and enjoying the day rather than doing this survey

51. What's most unappealing thing about the opposite sex?
that some of them do all things through christ who strengthens them. replace “christ” with “their penis.” replace “who strengthens them” with nothing.

52. What are you doing right now?
typing. duh.

53. Last text message saved in your inbox?
something from luke

54. Why?
why not?

sex. sex is a strange thing. a great thing, mind you, and i’m glad to have experienced it in my older years but still it is a strange thing...it is especially strange to attempt to discuss such things with people who have not deprived themselves of it for a seemingly infinite amount of years and it feels as if i am speaking to a foreigner. it’s okay though. it’s best just to attempt to get them to think back to a time when they lived in a sexless world though it appears that those times are so long gone that any attempts to go there are torturous at best. sigh. in many ways i feel inadequate and strange by the fact that i am still so new to the experience but then i also feel that it’s more than the experience that i crave and thusly it makes deliberate sense. i want more than the act and sometimes i do just want the act but i want it to be with someone i care about immensely so that even then it means something even to a small degree. maybe i put the whole thing on a pedestal that it need not be on. in fact i assume i do and for this i don’t feel bad. i just wish it were easier for the guys that i do care about to understand. in this recent relationship, i said that it was difficult for me to open up (emotionally and physically. yar.) and he said that he understood this and said that he cared enough to wait. well, apparently the wait was too long and now he’s annoyed and frustrated which makes me infininitely annoyed and frustrated. who do you think you are? i can definitely understand feeling these things but to go from one to the other so quickly is cruel though most likely the way in which emotions come and go. i do not blame him for feeling the way he feels but i must question the fluctuation. in a few short days one way changes to another. this behavior is infinitely frightening and does not aid in my ability to trust. and i so want to trust. i know that i am an extremely difficult person to know and yet i also know that once you are able to even peer over the wall that it is quite easy to find me. i am there. i may front but ultimately i am so immensely wanting to know you inside and out and have you know me. it may not seem like it, i realize, but i am just afraid of hurting you and being hurt. this is a common fear and yet something that i now realize is such an amazingly beautiful thing. yes, we can be hurt...i can be hurt and yet, i want to take that chance....with you. to make such a choice with open arms is so painfully wonderful that it hurts even to talk about. with all the hurt in the world those that you know for yourself and that you’ve heard about and those that you’ve dreamed up in your head, even with all that pain and heartache, you decide to say yes to the possibility of undeniable sadness and hurt, that is so fantastic that i can’t even describe how achingly real and optimistic it makes me. on the same note though, being open to such pain is also being open to incredible happiness so maybe it’s just the hope that keeps us afloat. though i’ve found that hope isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. ultimately, i’ve discovered in the last few days that i want to be open to life and all that comes with it, to not just know of relationships but to be an active participant in living and caring for other human beings and to not feel badly or strangely about it. each day, each moment is another opportunity. i do not want to waste it on hesitation.