it's a damn shame what happened to jem after the holograms.

what's with the partially robotic cat? that's fucked up.

yeah, this is old news but yay iowa, walmart, george lucas' suck-on-it sex candy, and decent people everywhere.

• gimme some jar jar

So, that's what I'm supposed to look like in cartoon form. There's something wrong with my hand though. Or I'm modeling that watch. No, there's something wrong with my hand. It looks like it should be holding something...probably a Skeleton Pincher Functional Claw Blade Spear like

• this.

(Buy it for me. I need it.)

another frickin' survey? jesus. don't you have anything better to do...or to blog about?

apparently not.


[50 Have You Evers?]

1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?
i hope so.

2. Slept in a different bed?
no, i’ve taped my mattress to myself to prevent this from ever occurring. wait, actually i have.

3. Made out in a movie theatre?
nope.

4. Made out in the forest?
the forest? yes, with ticks.

5. Thought your cousin was hot?
yes, actually. we didn’t do nuthin. shoot.

7. Slept naked?
usually do.

8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?
yup.

9. Gone over the speed limit?
never! it’s wrong.

10. Been arrested?
not yet

11. Drove a car?
i believe so, yes.

12. Danced in front of your mirror?
i dance everywhere.

13. Painted your room?
i did when i lived with my parents.

14. Been dumped?
yup.

15. Stole money from friend?
nope.

16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
yes. they had candy.

17. Been in a fist fight?
almost.

18. Snuck out of your house?
i don’t need to do it anymore (since i’m 28 & live alone) but i still do.

19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
yes indeedy.

20. Gotten a hickey?
yes. no likey hickeys.

21. Made out with a stranger?
define stranger.

22. Left your house without telling your parents?
i try not to tell them anymore. they’re not as interested since i haven’t lived at their home for more than a decade.

23. Chopped down a tree?
for what?

24. Ditched school to do something more fun?
sleep is fun.

25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
yes. many times.

26. Seen someone die?
no. well, on tv.

27. Been on a plane?
several times...to europe, japan, south korea, jeju, florida....(yes, florida)

28. Kissed a picture?
i’m constantly kissing pictures...of myself or richard dean anderson.

29. Slept in until 3?
rarely.

30. Love someone or miss someone right now?
i miss.

31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
of course. once the weather cooperates i will do that some more.

32. Made a snow angel?
do what?

33. Played dress up?
still do. i’m lame.

34. Cheated while playing a game?
yes, i have. don’t let me mix your drink on game night. it’s hard to beat me in scrabble when you’re all roofied up.

35. Been lonely?
of course.

36. Fallen asleep at work/school?
i don’t fall asleep but i come so very very close.

37. Been to a club?
once, i went to a seal clubbing club. but we realized that we lived in iowa (where there are no seals) and we didn’t have any clubs (for clubbing) and that i was the only person there and that i made the whole thing up while i was in line at subway. i ordered a cookie. oatmeal raisin. just kidding. that’s gross. what was the question? no, i live in iowa.

38. Felt an earthquake?
i ordered a brownie earthquake from dairy queen. it felt cold. like my mother’s touch. just kidding. it had hot fudge on it so it was warmish.

39. Touched a snake?
i try not to. they have fangs and death for me that i do not like.

40. Ran a red light?
yup. i ran into one too. it hurt...inside.

41. Been suspended from school?
not that i know of.

42. Had detention?
self-imposed detention.

43. Been in a car accident?
uh, i’ve been in 5, i think. i was always a passenger though.

44. Hated the way you look?
in lycra biking shorts. why do i keep wearing them?

45. Witnessed a crime?
only the ones i’ve committed.

46. Been lost?
in your eyes.

47. Been to the opposite side of the country?
what’s the opposite side of the middle?

48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?
that is a weird question.

49. Cried yourself to sleep?
no, not to sleep. before bed...like a snack.

50. Sang karaoke?
affirmative.

i'm sorry.